Anonymous Satire People really like to complain about the dating culture here as if it’s a uniquely Franciscan problem. This whole discussion about what it means to be standoffish isContinue Reading
Anonymous Satire I feel that the flared-jean Frannies deserve a break from my flaming pen this week, so I’ve undertaken to create a comprehensive portrait of a more comedically neglectedContinue Reading
Anonymous Satire In a fresh and exciting attempt to accrue funds for the mysterious, weeks-long construction project that is causing mild cardiac distress in anyone who owns an on-campus vehicle,Continue Reading
Anonymous Satire In a document released this Thursday, Pope Francis declared that a Franciscan student had incurred excommunication “latae sententiae” for “gently heretical statements” made during spontaneous prayer with herContinue Reading
Anonymous Satire Devoted fans of this column will remember a piece published a few weeks ago entitled “Manifesto.” In it, the speaker, a delusional basement-dweller whose only joy came fromContinue Reading
Anonymous Satire Recently, we have received a number of complaints about the university’s policies on tree-climbing. We understand that, as the hot weather brings many students outdoors, this can seemContinue Reading
Anonymous To the editor of the Troubadour, in response to Clement Harrold’s most recent Vice Column, “Toward an academic culture,” from the March 11, 2021 issue. I would like toContinue Reading
Anonymous Satire I don’t often stoop to the level of the rabble, but I feel that I must once again take to the page in an effort to curb theContinue Reading
Anonymous Satire Archeologists in Palestine rocked the scholarly community this week upon uncovering a small piece of the stone tablets given to Moses at Mount Sinai. The piece of stone,Continue Reading
Anonymous Satire I, the faceless author of this column that is so conveniently plastered upon the very rear end of the Troubadour, have peeled off my guise of “studied reporter”Continue Reading
